


Firsts

by BettyHT



Series: Diane [4]
Category: Bonanza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 22:28:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16396280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BettyHT/pseuds/BettyHT
Summary: 4th in the Diane series. A lighthearted story to wrap up some of the story lines that began in Understanding.  Issues of adoption and attachment as well as relationships in a marriage marred by tragedy and emotional turmoil are addressed but in an upbeat way and with humor in some parts.





	Firsts

Firsts

Chapter 1

The carriage wound its way from the Ponderosa to the main road and headed to the small school not far from the ranch where a neighbor had established it recently. As a former schoolteacher, she had decided her small children would be better off learning closer to home than making the long trek to Virginia City each day and had offered to teach any of the children from nearby ranches too. They could spend their primary grades there before moving on to the upper grades in town if the families chose to send them. Hearing of the project over the summer, Adam had helped her and her husband add a room to their bunkhouse for that purpose. With some basic supplies, she was prepared to teach the eight children entrusted to her care. It had taken some time to get everything organized and to get materials as well as to recruit the students, but now they were ready for them.

"What was it like when you were in school, Papa?"

"I never went to school until I went to college?"

"What does that mean?"

"I was eighteen before I ever went to school."

With eyes very large, Buddy tilted his head up and stared at his father as he tried to understand that. "But you were all ready grown up. Why did you go to school then?"

"I wanted to go to school to learn things I didn't know. I wanted to know how to design buildings and do things like that."

"Why didn't you go to school when you were small like me?"

"I never lived where there were any schools when I was your age. We were traveling west then and even if we stopped in a town that had a school, I wasn't there long enough. Parents had to do things to support the school, and Pa had to work to earn money so we could keep traveling."

"How did you get to be so smart then?"

"I don't know how smart I am. I've been known to do some things that aren't so smart, but if you want to know how I learned, Pa taught me. Inger and Marie taught me too as much as they could."

Wrapping his arm through his father's and leaning against that strong support, Buddy let his father know that he commiserated on the fact that they had both suffered losses. Buddy still mourned the loss of his parents even though he had admitted it was getting harder for him to remember them. With no records, Adam couldn't help him with that either. Nothing they had done had uncovered any background on the parents who had died and left Buddy and his sister orphaned outside Virginia City. Adopted by Adam and his wife Diane, Buddy and his sister Rose were happily learning to be Cartwrights, and one of those things was that you went to school. It was his first day and he was nervous about attending school.

When they got to the small ranch and Adam pulled up to let Buddy out, he had a few reminders. "Remember that you will be assigned a duty such as getting a bucket of water or bringing in firewood. You are to do that without complaint. Don't forget your lunch tin and be sure to put it someplace out of the sun so it stays cooler. Mind your manners and I'll be here to pick you up at the end of your day."

"Yes, Papa." Buddy grabbed his lunch tin and jumped down from the carriage to walk to the school.

"Oh, my, how I have waited to have Adam Cartwright in my class."

"Now, Abigail, we discussed this. It will be much better if you will call him Buddy."

Abigail Myers came up to the carriage and grinned. "Oh, Adam, I do like to tease you. You get flustered so easily. Buddy is the first one here. I have my two inside getting things ready. I'll have Buddy help them until the others arrive."

"Good. He's nervous about his first day in school so keeping busy will help."

Looking into the schoolhouse where Buddy had gone and then back at Adam, Abigail frowned. "I hope Joseph hasn't been telling him about how he behaved in school."

"I specifically requested that Joe keep his mouth shut on that for a few years at least."

"Thank you, Adam. I do want this to go well. I know you would understand if there was a bit of chaos at times because of the shenanigans of boys, but not everyone is so tolerant. Joseph never did understand that his behavior reflected on me."

"You should tell him. He's a father now. It might make more of an impression."

"Thank you. Perhaps I will do that. He has a child too and when she comes to school, I would like to think she would be a model student." Pausing then as she listened for any noise inside, she smiled on hearing none. "I should get inside to help although it sounds as if all is going well. Thank you again, Adam, for all your help."

"You're welcome, and I thank you for this. It's a much better situation for our children. I'll see you later."

With that, Adam snapped the reins to leave. All the way home, he felt the emptiness of the seat beside him and chided himself for it. However Buddy had been his almost constant companion for the past few months as they had bonded and the boy had firmly attached himself to his new father. Hoss had even remarked at how Buddy was adopting Adam's mannerisms and habits leaning on things when he talked to people and putting a piece of straw in his mouth in place of the match his father often used. At the times he did that, Adam wanted to dispute it, but when he observed his son, he saw what everyone else saw and couldn't.

When Adam got home, he unhitched the carriage and took his time putting everything away as he thought about things. His father came out to see him with a fairly good idea of what might be on his mind.

"Missing your son?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"No, it was a guess based on experience. Joe was the only one of you I ever had to send to school, but I remember that day. After having him with me constantly, it was a wrench to suddenly have him gone. It was a lot like the day you left for college. I had you by my side and then you were gone."

"It leaves a hole, doesn't it?"

"Yes, but it's a hole filled with love. You wrap it all around them when they step back into your arms, figuratively speaking, that is."

For the first time, Adam truly understood what he had done to his father each time he had left and what it must have felt like when he came back. He did something then that surprised Ben but warmed his heart. He wrapped his arms around his father and pulled him into a hug. Ben didn't need to ask why. Both men had glistening eyes when Adam released his father, and no more words needed to be said.

Inside the school that morning, Buddy was getting an education he had never expected as Abigail's two children talked with him.

"You could have been our brother."

"Yeah, Papa said Mama wanted to marry Adam first but he wouldn't. Then she fell in love with Papa, and they got married."

"My Papa was going to marry your mama?"

"Maybe. She said she thought they would until our Papa asked her."

Quickly, Buddy scurried over to the door to see if his father and his new teacher were still talking. They were and smiling at each other. He hoped that wouldn't last long. Finally they said goodbye and his father left. He hurried back to where the other two were working and got busy before Mrs. Myers entered the school. It was something on his mind all day though and he wondered what would happen when his father came to pick him up. It was with great relief when he saw that it was Hoss there.

"Howdy, Punkin. How was your day?"

"It was good." Buddy looked worried though. "Is Papa all right? He said he was going to pick me up."

"Yes, he was, but business came up and he had to go to Carson City. He won't be back until late. He was real sorry he couldn't see you at the end of your first school day, but he said you was to tell me all about it, and I'm to remember every word and tell 'im."

"Can you remember that good?"

"Maybe not that good, but I'm a right fair storyteller, so ifn you tell me, I kin tell him the story of your day so he'll be tickled pink. Wouldn't that be a sight now, seeing your papa all pink?"

Buddy started laughing so hard he had to lean up against Hoss. "Uncle Hoss, you're so funny. I bet you can make anything funny."

"Jest about anything. Now, you tell me 'bout your day."

"Everything?"

"Everything!"

In Carson City, there were some things Adam wished he could forget even as they happened. In the bank in town after negotiations with the railroad had concluded, he stopped to see if he could confer with the branch manager about financial arrangements for the new contract. The man wasn't in but the assistant manager was.

"I'm sorry that Mister Davis isn't here to meet with you. He should be back within an hour or two. If you would like to have some lunch, we could send a messenger when he returns."

"That would be fine, but I have to get home today so if it isn't within an hour, I'm afraid I'll have to go."

"I'm sorry you have to be inconvenienced. I heard about your family situation. I'm sorry too that you had to adopt to have a family. It's a shame your wife couldn't provide you with children, but I guess it is God's will sometimes."

"Listen, never ever tell me that I or anyone should feel sorry that I adopted my children. They are my children as much as any children would be if born of my blood. They are mine and for you to suggest that makes them any less in my eyes is insulting. Do I make myself clear?"

"Oh, yes, Mister Cartwright. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult. I only meant to support you. If you felt any negative impact of my words, there was no intent to do so. Please accept my apology for any perceived insult."

Turning on his heel, Adam left the bank without any other word not even mentioning what restaurant would be his destination for lunch. The man who clerked for Matthew Davis and hoped to someday be a bank manager or more, hurriedly entered his boss' office and scooped a small box from the desk. He followed Adam out the door and asked a few people where the man in black had gone. It didn't take long to find him. Walking into the restaurant with far more confidence than he felt, he presented the box to Adam.

"I'm sorry, sir, but you left the bank so rapidly that I was unable to give these to you. It is a gift that Mister Davis has been waiting to present to you when he saw you. He wanted to offer congratulations on your new family."

The scowl Adam had was replaced by a slight smile as he picked up the small box of expensive cigars and tipped his head to the young man. "Perhaps Mister Davis would have liked to give these to me himself?"

"Ah, well, I know where he is, and he would not appreciate being interrupted." He let that hang in the air long enough to be understood. "I wanted to be sure you got his gift in case he did not return in time to see you today."

"Is he prone to these long meetings then?"

With a slight smile, the young man answered. "Ah, yes sir, every Monday afternoon, he is, and sometimes on Wednesday and Friday afternoons too."

"Interesting, and your name is?"

"Findley, sir. Andrew Findley."

"Very good, Andrew Findley. I shall not forget your name. Please tell Matt we'll be in to see him on Friday."

"Yes sir. Thank you, sir. I'll be getting back to work now."

Later that afternoon, well after Adam's deadline, Matthew Davis returned to his office sure that all had run well in his absence because it always did. His assistant informed him that he had missed a meeting with Adam Cartwright, but he knew that either Ben or Adam would be back. There was likely nothing urgent or Adam would have waited for him. As he moved into his office, his clerk stepped in with him.

"Mister Davis, before you notice, I took that box of cigars from your desk and gave it to Adam Cartwright." Andrew explained then about the insult and how he had told Adam that Davis wanted to offer congratulations instead. "They'll be in to see you on Friday."

Listening with interest and then amusement, Matthew Davis leaned back in his desk chair to give an appraising look to his young clerk. "You're going to go a long way in this business, young man. My assistant doesn't have a bright future here, but you do if you keep on your toes like that. I'd like your evaluation of the tellers by the end of the month as to which one would make a good clerk for me."

"For you, sir?"

"Yes, for me. I'm going to be promoting mine to assistant as my assistant will be looking for new employment by then."

That night, Andrew Findley had very good news to tell his new wife while Adam was telling his father about his encounter with the branch bank manager which still irritated him many hours later. Ben had come out to the stable to greet him because he was home later than expected. It was dark and they had begun to worry.

"Diane is taking care of the children who are in bed but reluctant to sleep because you were not home. I'm glad to see you're all right."

"Physically, I'm fine. I was delayed because the bank manager wasn't in. I went there after my meeting with the railroad representatives. That went well, by the way. The contract is still fine. They made a few requests for changes, but they are ones we can easily accommodate. I told them we could do that if they took out the penalty clause." His grin got an answering one from his father.

"That was shrewd. They were probably expecting you to ask for more money."

"Yes, but I knew we would be better off without the penalty clause because of the problems lately with the weather and with getting enough men to work. I told them that with the increased expectations for delivery, we could do it, but we would need to have that removed."

"That's a weight off my shoulders. With you finishing work on your house, there was some concern on my part about this contract, but not any more. Now, you said physically you were all right. What happened?"

"I should have known you would notice that and remember it. Oh, Davis' assistant offered his condolences on the adoption of my children as if I had to settle for second best. I told him those two were my children equal to having children of my blood."

"I know how you feel. Sometimes I forget that Jamie wasn't born to me. It seems now that he was always here. It's funny because he hasn't been here that long."

"Yes, in town last week, someone mentioned how Buddy has dimples, and I was going to say that I do too and so did my mother. Then I realized that I was thinking as if Buddy inherited those."

"I'd say you and Buddy are as much father and son as any man and boy could ever be. He had quite a first day at school too if Hoss is any judge. He can't wait to tell you the story of Buddy's first day."

"Oh, I bet this is going to be good." Pausing then for emphasis, Adam rolled his eyes. "Or bad."

"You do know how Hoss likes to tell a story."

"I'm hungry and I'd like to say hello to my wife first."

"If you hurry, he may let you have time for that."

With that, father and son walked to the house side-by-side knowing that there weren't many days left when they would do that. Ben especially was cherishing these moments.

Chapter 2

After Adam said goodnight to his children, Diane said she was tired and was going to turn in early. He was hungry and still needed to hear Hoss' story so he told her he would be back soon. That didn't turn out to be accurate. He got a plate of food, but Hoss was in a story telling mood. He told about how Abigail Myers had made a point of saying how proud she was to have Adam Cartwright in her classroom. Buddy had told her that he was called Buddy, but she said in her official record book, he was Adam Cartwright. He liked that of course and didn't know the significance of her reference to being to proud to have Adam Cartwright in her classroom. Jamie and Ben enjoyed that part of the story very much, and Hoss had a great deal of pleasure in explaining it to Mary Beth too.

"Of course, the very first thing Buddy told me about his day was how Abigail's children said you coulda been their pa."

"What?"

"Now Adam don't you get to fussing too much. They told him that you two was gonna maybe get married until their pa asked ole Abigail to get married so she married Hank instead of you."

"I was never going to marry her!"

"Well, maybe she teases Hank about it or maybe he teases her about it, but them kids of theirs think it's true and told Buddy that. He was worried that maybe you had some feelings for her, but I told him it was all her idea and you never wanted to marry up with her. Now has Diane heard that story? I was pretty sure Joe and me told her that one."

With a scowl, Adam answered. "You told her."

"Well then, that's settled."

Then Hoss told how Buddy had corrected Abigail's spelling at one point when she had written a word on the board and left out one letter of a double letter. She had argued with Buddy who had stood his ground until she had looked it up in a dictionary to prove him wrong and then found he was correct.

"Adam, that young'un of yours is jest as stubborn as you. He didn't back down even when she said he was going to be punished for talking out of turn. Then when he was right, she was upset with him."

"I hope he didn't say anything at that point."

"He asked if he was still going to be punished seeing as how he was correct." As Adam dropped his head into his hands, Hoss smiled. "How'd he know that word anyhow?"

"It's in a story I've been reading to him. He follows along and wants to know each word. We stop at every new word he hasn't seen and I have to sound it out and let him spell it out. He's learning to read rather quickly."

"Yeah, they did some phonics work and she done found out he can read already. So she had him teaching some of the others including some older than him."

"Well, at least that's a good thing. Is that the best part of the story or should I say worst?"

"Oh, no, I bin holding the best for last. Seems that Abigail sent all the children out to the necessary at the same time. Three of the boys decided to go behind into the bushes because they couldn't wait. Well they decided to do some comparing. Then they did some discussing. One thing they discussed was others they seen such as their father's. Buddy has seen you, I guess. He told the others how long he thought it was. They didn't believe him. He said it was as long as his foot. They went back into the classroom and one of the boys took the ruler off Abigail's desk and put it up agin himself and said something like if it's a foot long, then it would stick out that far. Right about that time, Abigail walked back into the room. It was her boy who had done it. She made him admit what he was explaining. So right there in front of everyone, he said it."

"He didn't!"

"He did. And you gotta know, those other children probably went home and told their parents or at least the boys probably told their fathers and the girls mighta told their mothers."

"Well, at least that's only five children and they come from only three families." Even as he said it, Adam had a sickly look.

Off to the side, Jamie and Ben were trying to hold back their laughter but not very successfully. Mary Beth had turned cherry red with the topic being discussed so that Hoss realized he probably shouldn't have told that story in front of her. He decided it was probably time to end this conversation and possibly get ready to apologize to his wife as well as soon as he could get her up to their bedroom for some privacy. Slapping Adam on the shoulder, Hoss turned to Mary Beth.

"Sweetheart, it is getting' late. You ready ta call it a night?"

More than ready, Mary Beth said her good nights and Hoss followed suit. Jamie had nothing to say so he headed up to bed too. Ben didn't know what to say so he waited for Adam.

"Pa, maybe I won't go into town for a while like six months or maybe a year or two. I'll wait until Buddy knows when to talk and when not to say some things."

"Yes, it might be a good idea to work on that talk about what's private and what isn't."

"I thought we had, but I guess I missed a few things."

"You had fatherhood thrust on you. You didn't get a chance to learn it step by step. Don't worry, son. You're doing a fine job, and this may all blow over without anyone saying anything."

"You don't really believe that, do you?"

"I can hope for your sake."

"I'm going up to bed now. I hope I can sleep."

As it turned out, Diane had an idea that made him forget all about his embarrassment and the possible humiliation he might face when he went to town. Surprised to find that she was not in bed but sitting at her dressing table in her gown brushing out her hair, Adam smiled. When she turned to him, he was even more pleased because she smiled and motioned for him to come closer. It never took much to entice him into his wife's arms, and seeing her there with her hair down around her shoulders in her gown made him quite pleased to wrap his arms around her and pull her close. Instead of a kiss though, she wanted to talk for a moment.

"There's only one thing I want to say. Tonight, when you think it's time to pull away, I don't want you to do that."

"Are you sure?"

"I am. I've been thinking about it for some time now. I love Buddy and Rose very much. I love you very much. With all of you to love, I'm willing to try to have a baby. It will be up to the Lord if that happens."

"It's a big risk."

"I know, but the last time I talked to Doctor Martin, I asked him, and he said he thought I could make that decision now when I thought I was ready. I think I'm ready now." Diane was ready and let him know with her actions and her expressions.

"If you change your mind or you're not sure at any point, you only have to let me know." Adam wasn't as confident of her decision as she seemed to be.

Their lovemaking was especially sweet that night though as it was a big step in their relationship almost as important as getting married had been. Afterwards, Adam didn't want to let her go and held her in his arms for quite a long time until she pushed back a little.

"I'm not that fragile any more. I know I was, but I'm getting better."

"I guess when someone hasn't been feeling their best, I want to be sure."

"Speaking of that, I had something rather big on my mind when you came in the door tonight, but you were wearing a frown so I know something was troubling you. We have time now for you to talk."

"Interesting that you would say that it was something big on my mind." Unable to help the grin, Adam kissed her softly before explaining what Buddy had done at school.

"Oh my, he didn't?"

"He did, and the other boy told that story too."

"But Buddy said as big as his foot not as big as a ruler."

"They're only five years old, and I'm sure they don't see the distinction as being a problem."

"But every adult who hears the story will only hear about the ruler and they will notice how distinctive that is."

"Yes, I told Pa I don't think I want to go to town in the near future and that might be too soon."

"Or maybe you should go about your business like nothing happened and leave them wondering."

"You might be right. It's probably a lot like what happens with bullies. If you don't react to them, they don't have any fun with you and usually give up the game. That's what I'll do then. If I act like you say and go about my business, they may leave me alone. That is unless it's more than I can handle and I get angry. Then I'll have to say something because they would be able to see it boiling up inside me anyway."

The next morning, Adam dug in his clothing until he found an old pair of pants that were a big loose on him. He wasn't planning to let anyone see anything that could be used to embellish any story that might be going around about him. When Hoss and Mary Beth saw him, they snickered until Ben cleared his throat and gave them the look that said they better not say anything. That morning, Adam drove Buddy to school, and when he returned, he wasn't happy at all. It had been an uncomfortable situation with Abigail who although she stood with cheeks that blushed a bit when Adam arrived, spoke to him in a voice that clearly held a bit of amusement in it at his expense. She asked him to carry a few things into the classroom too keeping him there longer as well.

"I swear she was looking at me below the belt almost every time she had the chance, and those jobs she had me do could easily have been done by Hank. It was as if she purposely held the jobs for me so she could keep me there longer."

Diane simply smiled demurely. "Perhaps you're getting a better understanding of how most women feel when they talk with men."

Letting that comment pass, Adam instead spoke about Buddy. "We had another long conversation about privacy and what is acceptable as subject matter for conversations with anyone outside the family. He simply is so honest he thinks there should be no limits."

"Well, there is certainly a lot of good news in that."

"Yes, he'll never be a politician. The boy couldn't get elected to anything with his attitude. He would tell each and every person the whole truth, and we know how people would feel about that."

"On the other hand, Adam, he could be a wonderful leader."

"Oh, I suppose he could be that light on the hill if he could ever soften the edges of his honesty with a little diplomacy."

"There you go. Perhaps instead of telling him he can't say things, maybe we ought to be coaching him in how to say them in a way that is acceptable."

"He's only five."

"And a lot like you at that age, I would guess. Perhaps you could talk to your father about what to do with a curious five-year-old who likes to ask a lot of questions and who can be painfully honest. It might be good to do that soon especially after the news Hoss is going to share soon."

"News? Hoss?"

"If you haven't seen the smiles the two have been sharing and how he is so careful around Mary Beth as well as how she's been eating, then you've missed a lot."

"He has been very attentive. I thought maybe they had an argument or something."

"Hoss?"

"I guess you're right. I was thinking too much about Buddy and Rose and you. I didn't pay much attention. How far along do you think she is?"

"Far enough that I expect they're going to say something soon. They should. I can tell that your father has probably guessed too and he's bursting with wanting to say something."

"As soon as our house is done, they're going to need the space here. The timing is going to be just about right. We'll have time to get our house in shape and organized and then I'll be able to come back here and work with Hoss on setting up a nursery for them."

"Will there be one at our house? I never asked before. I guess I was thinking we would never need one."

"There is your sewing room and the alcove in the large bedroom we'll have. The alcove could be a nursery area when a baby is small and the sewing room could easily be converted into a nursery room or a child's room."

"And I could move my sewing things into that alcove?"

"Yes, it's big enough if I added some storage for you."

"Good. I like having a plan in case we need one."

With that, Diane rolled on her side and snuggled into Adam as she closed her eyes. He kept his arm around her holding her close as he felt her relax into sleep. Looking up to heaven, he prayed to the Lord that nothing bad would happen and asked his guardian angels to keep watch over his wife before he too finally relaxed into sleep.

Chapter 3

At the breakfast table, Adam was more observant than he had been and watched Mary Beth and Hoss confirming everything that Diane had said. Deciding to open a conversation that would give Hoss an opportunity to make an announcement if he wished to do so, Adam started discussing the move into his new house and moving Ben into his new bedroom downstairs. That bedroom was complete except they needed some warmer weather to do the plastering and painting. The same was true for Adam's house. As soon as they got some warm days, they would be able to finish both projects.

"So, if we move Pa's furniture down into the new bedroom, which furniture will be moved into his vacated bedroom?"

Assuming that Hoss and Mary Beth would want the larger room, Ben answered the way he thought was logical. "Wouldn't you move the things from Hoss' room into there?"

"No, Hoss wants my room so we can put a door through to Joe's old room."

"Why would Hoss want that?"

"Ask him."

Ben turned toward Hoss raising his eyebrows only, which was enough.

"Pa, when we have a young'un, we figured it would be nice to have the baby close by. We figured keeping him or her in an adjoining bedroom makes things a whole lot easier." Hoss looked over at Mary Beth who smiled and nodded. "In fact, we're gonna be testing that out. We're gonna have a baby."

There were smiles and congratulations all around. Jamie asked when and Hoss and Mary Beth had to admit they weren't sure when but probably in about four or five months. Jamie wanted to know why they weren't more sure of the exact time, but Ben interrupted telling him that some things are more private and that there are reasons that sometimes people can't always be sure. Seeing Jamie's look, Ben added more.

"We'll talk later."

Keeping a careful watch on Diane, Adam was relieved to see that her joy was genuine and that there was no sadness in her response to the news. He began to believe she truly was out of her melancholy state over the loss of two babies, one stillborn and one miscarried late in the pregnancy. Now he could feel better about their intimacy taking that final step.

From that point on, the discussion centered on the logistics of moving furniture, cutting a door between two bedrooms upstairs, but not until the remodel of the bunkhouse was completed, the new bunkhouse was finished completely, and Adam's house was done. Almost all of those projects were nearly done. Men had moved into the new bunkhouse already but there was still some finishing work that needed to be done. The hands in there didn't mind because the new bunkhouse was more spacious and the bunks were a bit longer and wider than the old ones had been. Hands who had been with them the longest had priority in selecting bunks in the new bunkhouse and had taken nearly all the slots there. Finally it seemed they had settled the issues but Ben had a few questions.

"Where is Jamie going to be?"

"Pa, I asked for Hoss' room. It's right at the top of the stairs so it's convenient, it's got a window to the yard, and it gives Hoss and Mary Beth some privacy."

"Jamie, that's very good thinking. We have one room without furniture though."

"Pa, we were thinking of making it a room for Hoss and Mary Beth to use. It could be a sewing room and kind of a sitting room for them when they wanted to be alone." There would still be one bedroom up there for guests and one down here."

"That seems like a workable plan. Are all of you in agreement on that?" With nods all around, Ben agreed it sounded reasonable.

A few weeks later with some warm weather, Joe and Hoss were busy plastering Ben's new bedroom and Adam and Candy showed up to help. Soon all of them were splattered with white but fast progress was being made. Of course there seemed to be a competition with those four men working together and lots of jibes were thrown around until eventually they tired of that and got to more serious topics. Joe was asked what it was like having two girls at his house and that took some time as he theatrically went through all the complaints he had. Hoss ended it finally with one question.

"Betcha ya wouldn't trade it for nothing in the world, wouldja now?"

All he got for that was a wide grin. Of course, Joe then warned him of what he would be facing.

"Aw, Joe, jest like you, I'll probably complain a little now and then. It's expected, ain't it. But I cain't wait. All I wants to do is hold my first in my arms. Cain't be no feeling in the world like that." Then Hoss became aware of what that might cause his older brother to feel and looked at Adam who seemed nonplussed by the conversation.

As both brothers stared rather conspicuously at him, Adam shrugged. "You never know." And he smiled before turning back to his work.

Looking at each other then and frowning for a moment, Joe smiled first. Hoss whispered. "Ya think?"

"Must be."

It was Adam's way of letting them know that things had changed between him and Diane and that she was feeling better. Later when they had a chance, the younger brothers brought up the topic with their father. Joe wasn't sure how to diplomatically broach the subject so Hoss simply blurted it out.

"Has Adam said anything to you about him and Diane?"

"No, he hasn't. You know how your older brother keeps things private. Why?"

"Well, he kinda hinted while we was working that mebbe things are back to being normal like between him and Diane, ya know, like it is between normal husbands and wives."

"Oh, I don't know that Adam and Diane are ever going to be like normal husbands and wives. Those two are one-of-a-kind in many ways."

"Pa, you know what Hoss means. Are they good now?"

"I assume so. The way they're relaxed around each other these past several weeks would lead me to believe that the tension between them is gone and everything is fine."

"Ya noticed a difference?"

"Yes, Hoss, I did. The best way to know anything about your older brother is to watch his actions. He tells you more by what he does than by what he'll say. Pay attention."

"I always knew that, but I guess I wasn't paying attention enough to see a change."

"It's there."

That evening, Hoss did pay attention especially to when Adam offered to help put the children to bed and how gently he guided Diane up the stairs as she carried a drowsy Rose with Buddy leading the way. The way Diane smiled at him with such warmth was further confirmation that they were feeling very comfortable with each other again. That night in bed, Hoss talked with Mary Beth about it and she echoed the conversation Hoss had with Ben.

"Of course it was obvious. Diane has been so much more relaxed and smiling more. It was about three weeks ago when one morning at breakfast, it all seemed different."

"Dadburnit, I missed it. We're gonna hafta talk more."

"I'd like that. As soon as we get that parlor up here, we'll have a better chance of being able to have private conversations. Right now this is the only private time we have and we usually get so busy with other things we don't spend much time talking."

"Well, darlin', now that you mentioned it." Hoss wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. "For now, I think the talkin' is done."

The only one in the house who had a different perspective on the situation was Buddy. He wasn't told directly that Hoss and Mary Beth were going to have a child, but he overheard enough and guessed enough to know. One day as he was in the stable with Hoss, he dropped the statement on his uncle to see if he had guessed correctly.

"Say, Uncle Hoss, I hear you and Aunt Mary Beth are going to have a baby."

Surprised, as well as a bit amused to hear the five-year-old speak like that, Hoss responded equally seriously. "Oh, and where did you hear such a thing, young man?"

"Oh, I've heard things."

"Well, yes we are going to have a baby. You're not going to ask me any questions about where babies come from, are ya?"

"No, I wasn't going to ask that." But Buddy had hoped to ask that and knew now he had to ask his father. He had a guess but wanted it confirmed. Instead he simply stated the obvious. "I guess you're happy about it."

"I'm very happy about it. Every man wants to have a child, I guess. I waited a long time, so it's even more of an event for me. The first one is especially exciting, I guess."

From that point on, Buddy was rather quiet as they worked. Hoss didn't think it was too unusual because Buddy was often quiet like that unlike his sister who was learning to talk more and seldom stopped once she had your attention. Later Hoss mentioned the conversation to Adam who was mainly concerned about having to talk to his son about the birds and the bees. Diane teased him later when he told her.

"I may have to do it now, but your time will come. I'm not the one who will have to explain it to Rose, so you can laugh now, but I'll get my turn."

When Buddy didn't approach him about that topic but did seem to withdraw a bit from him, Adam grew concerned though. He was distracted though when Diane said she thought she might be with child and the next month confirmed it. They waited two more months before saying anything, but then announced it to the adults in the family. It was the day before they moved into their new house so the celebration in the new house was going to doubly festive even if there was a bit of worry. Doctor Martin though assured them that everything looked fine. He and Diane talked extensively about what she could do to try to ensure a safe pregnancy. After the move into the new house and after everyone had left, Adam went to tuck Buddy into bed and found him crying. The worry he had carried for months and the tension of the move had been too much for him.

"Buddy, what's wrong?"

"You won't want us any more."

"What? Why wouldn't we want you any more?"

"You and Mama are going to have your first like Uncle Hoss and you won't want us."

Gathering his son into his arms, Adam pulled him close and let him cry out until he was simply sniffling. "There, I'm sorry you cried so hard but I want you to hear this clearly. We chose you because we wanted you. When we have the baby, we get the baby because God gave that baby to us. We have no choice. We'll love that child as God's gift to us. With you and Rose, we had a choice and we chose you. You grew in our hearts like the baby is growing in Mama's tummy. Nothing in this world will ever tear us apart. You have my name. It is yours forever. You are my son and nothing will ever change that. That little one is going to need a strong big brother to watch out for him or her. I was the big brother for Hoss and Little Joe. Will you be the big brother in this family?"

"You want me to be the big brother?"

"Oh, Buddy, I love you so much. Of course I want you to be the big brother."

"I love you, Papa."

"Now, does that answer your question well enough or do I need Mama to come in here and tell you too."

"It's good enough, but could Mama tell me too anyway?"

"Of course she can. You snuggle in and she'll be right here."

When Adam found Diane, she was dressing for bed. He told her what had happened and she pulled a robe on and hurried to Buddy's room. She found him nearly asleep but woke him and told him the same things Adam had said before kissing him.

"Papa said that too, but he didn't kiss me."

So Adam leaned down and kissed his son on the cheek. Buddy smiled.

"I'm not going to tell anyone at school that you kissed me, Papa."

"Good. That means you're learning more about what privacy is. Good night now."

After that, there were no more problems with Buddy and Rose feeling comfortable and loved as the children of Adam and Diane. The only times there were any worries were when Adam had to be gone such as trips to California to sell the house they had there or to check on the business he still owned there. There were shorter trips too to timber camps or when ranch business took him away. It was at those times that Diane was glad that their house was so close to the main house. However it was still too far away for her to feel completely safe, so a hand was assigned to stay at their house whenever Adam was away. It was a temporary solution so Adam began to look for a couple who could work for them assisting Diane and taking care of chores around the place as well as providing a layer of security whenever he was gone. As Diane's pregnancy progressed, he was even more concerned about that. So within a few months, he built a small cottage next to his home where a hired couple moved in. The woman helped Diane with cooking, cleaning, laundry, and childcare. The man took care of the animals and the garden as well as general chores and any upkeep and repairs that might be needed.

Chapter 4

The only concern Diane had was her weight because she seemed to be gaining a lot of it. In fact, she thought she was as big or bigger than Mary Beth who was several months ahead of her and nearly due to deliver her baby. Complaining to Adam did no good. He only said what seemed obvious to him.

"Sweetheart, you're beautiful to me. Being large like this is a good sign, isn't it. You never gained weight like this before so this must be the normal way for you to have a healthy baby, and that's what we want, isn't it?"

"But I feel awful and I look horrible!"

"Maybe you feel that way, but to me, you are gorgeous this way. You glow with the beauty of our child growing within you. I wish I could get you to feel the joy I have inside of me."

"Oh, Adam, I do have joy for our baby, but I hate being like this."

And when she was like that which was every day and sometimes more than once a day, he held her and kissed her and did everything he could to let her know he loved her and treasured her. Unfortunately he still had to work and those hours when he was gone, she brooded. Adam consulted with his father and Joe as the only men he knew well enough to discuss the issue, but neither had ever experienced it so finally he rode to town to talk with Doctor Martin.

"Adam, we already know Diane is prone to melancholia so feelings like this during this time were to be expected, I suppose. I'm sorry I didn't see it, but every time I've visited with her, she had been very joyful about the baby and has shown no signs of what you are telling me."

"She's a strong woman in many ways. I don't think anyone has seen it except me. She does very well with the children too, but that probably only makes it worse when she is in private."

"That's probably true. She needs something to release the tension. I wish I could tell you that it was all right to have relations, but that could stimulate her labor at this point, and that wouldn't be a good thing at all. She needs some kind of excitement that isn't physically taxing to her. Something that will make her laugh so hard that it will be like crying."

"Make her laugh so hard that she cries?"

"You know what I mean. Sometimes people laugh so hard that tears come to their eyes. That's the kind of excitement she needs. It will let her release the tension in her emotions without physically taxing her. It would need to be something that happens several times too as one time will not likely do it."

"All right, I'll talk to Hoss and Joe. If any two can think of something that can make people laugh, it's those two."

Slapping Adam on the shoulder, Doctor Martin chuckled. "Just don't let them go too far. We don't want her laughing herself right into delivering that baby six weeks early."

So that evening, Adam rode over to the main house and explained the problem. Jamie and Hoss thought about it frowning as they did so. Ben suggested they might have to wait until Joe was there to add his ideas until Jamie had a suggestion.

"Isn't it about time for Buddy to have a pony. Maybe Hoss and I could bring little Rebel over to your place to saddle him up for Buddy to ride."

"Aw, Jamie, the last time we tried to get a saddle on that lil rascal, you and me was tripping over each another and ended up on our butts in the dirt more times than a coyote howls at night." Then Hoss grinned as he got it. "We shur could put on a show now, couldn't we?"

Grinning, Ben looked to Adam. "It was very funny. We had guests who had a young son and they were going to let him ride Rebel. Supposedly that little pony was saddlebroke when we got him, but I'm afraid we got bamboozled on that one. Still, he's a good little stud for ponies so we've kept him."

Thoughtful, Adam had one caveat to consider. "Buddy would be very disappointed though if I promise him a pony and then all he gets is a funny show."

Hoss frowned for a moment. "How's about if we bring over Honey too. She's sweet and we know she's saddlebroke and real sweet. It would be a good one for a first pony 'cause she would be a friend as well as his transportation."

"Yes, I like it. He could use a responsibility too, and taking care of a pony would be a good start on one. All right. We have a plan. You can include Joe too. I know how he likes to take part in these performances."

"All right, then, you tell Buddy we're bringing over a pony for him on Saturday morning. Now we'll bring two and let him pick. Rebel is a right pretty looking one so he's bound to pick him. Honey is sweet but real plain at all brown, head to tail. We got that small saddle here and we'll bring that along."

With a plan in place, Adam headed back home and broke the good news to Buddy after discussing it with Diane who agreed that it was time for Buddy to learn to ride. She also liked the idea of him having responsibility. Buddy and Adam went to the small stable and prepared a stall for the pony and told their hired hand that he would have one more in the stable but that he only had to supervise Buddy's care of the animal.

When it happened, it was all that Adam hoped it would be. He carried a chair outside for Diane and Rose to see Buddy's first 'riding lesson' and proceeded from there. Buddy was excited but Adam cautioned him to stay close until his brothers got Rebel saddled because as expected, Buddy chose Rebel. Rebel stood calmly until he saw Joe approaching with the saddle and then he shimmied to the side so that Joe tumbled over him and did a somersault with the saddle when he tried to drop it on the pony ending up on the opposite side of the animal and upside down instead. Hoss began laughing so Joe threw the saddle at him, which caused him to back up and land butt first in the horse trough. Jamie took the saddle from his hands declaring that the two of them didn't know how to approach Rebel. He calmly walked up to the little pony who promptly head butted him in the belly because of the saddle he carried over his shoulder. That got Joe and Hoss laughing at Jamie who challenged them to do better. Somehow in the melee, Rebel got loose and all three of them were chasing the pony around the corral for a bit until they caught him again. Hoss and Joe didn't stop fast enough though and banged into each other ending up in a tangle in the dirt. The sound that Rebel made sounded like a laugh which made Jamie start laughing at his brothers as he stood there with Rebel's reins in his hands. He stopped laughing and dropped the reins though as his brothers got up and advanced on him chasing him around the corral until they caught him and dumped him in the horse trough. Then they chased Rebel again finally catching him as a sodden Jamie walked over with the saddle and dropped it at their feet.

"Oh, Adam, I can hardly breathe, I'm laughing so hard."

When the shenanigans had begun, Diane hadn't been sure if she should laugh or remonstrate against the brothers for the poor example they were setting for Buddy. However Adam began to chuckle and Buddy laughed out loud. When Rose began to shriek in amusement, Diane joined in and laughed until tears ran down her face. Adam leaned down and wiped her cheeks with his handkerchief.

"I guess asking my brothers for help wasn't a good idea."

"Oh, Adam, this is the best fun I've had in ages. Do you suppose they could do this every day?" Then she began laughing again watching the brothers trying to hold Rebel in place and get the saddle on him. In between bouts of giggling, chuckling, and outright braying laughs, she asked him if he thought perhaps Rebel wasn't a suitable pony for Buddy.

"I'm thinking the same thing. Buddy, what do you think?"

"I don't know, Papa, but he seems awful hard to saddle."

"Maybe we should see if they could get a saddle on the other one easier than on Rebel. What do you think?"

Proud to be consulted, Buddy agreed. When Adam approached the corral and asked his brothers to take the saddle off Rebel which was on crooked anyway, they made a big show of how hard they had worked to get it on and then grudgingly took it off letting Rebel triumphantly trot around the corral dragging his reins. Jamie calmly walked to him with an apple to get his attention and hooked a lead rope to his halter so he could be tied to the corral fence. In a minute or so, Honey was saddled up, and Hoss and Joe remonstrated against each other about why the other hadn't done a better job with Rebel so he could have been saddled so easily.

"Ifn you hadn't riled him up right off, we coulda got him ready for Buddy."

"Me rile him up? You were the one with the lead rope who was supposed to keep him steady and you made him move so I fell over him!"

The brothers kept up their act as they got their horses and left leading Rebel back home to the Ponderosa. Adam did thank them before they left, and they knew that it was for far more than saddling Honey. Buddy and Honey got along well and soon Buddy was riding her to school and back with an adult along for the ride of course.

That day's release of tension carried over for weeks as talk of that day brought laughter to the family each time they relived the experience. It seemed it grew in hilarity with each telling as Adam and Buddy recounted their version of the day embellishing the events with details that were exaggerated for effect especially as it made Diane and Rose laugh more when there were outlandish details and sometimes pantomiming added. When news of Mary Beth delivering her baby arrived, Diane had taken it well relieving Adam of that worry. They had headed to the main house to welcome baby Nathaniel to the family. Then when she was due, Diane woke Adam in the night and told him it was time. He woke the couple who worked for them and told the man to ride to the main house to alert them and send someone for the doctor. The woman headed to the kitchen to make preparations as Adam went back to the bedroom to wait. He talked with Diane doing his best to keep her calm for a couple of hours until others arrived and he was sent to wait with the other men. By morning, he was a nervous wreck but getting the children up, dressed, and fed helped keep his mind from that closed bedroom door. He wanted so much to go in there to find out what was happening, but finally about nine, they heard a baby's cry and Adam's audible sigh. He stood and walked to the stairs standing and staring up the staircase for fifteen minutes until Doctor Paul Martin appeared at the top of the stairs.

"It's all good, Adam. Give us a little time to clean things up, and then come up."

"I don't care about the cleaning up."

He bounded up the stairs and into the room to see Diane who looked exhausted. Pale, and with sweat-dampened hair stuck to her forehead, she lay back on the pillows cradling a bundle in her arms. She managed a small smile though.

"We've got a healthy son, Adam."

"Thank God."

With relief, he sat on the side of the bed next to her and put a hand to her cheek as she peeled the blanket back from the face of their son. He was still in need of being wiped clean but he was beautiful in his parents' eyes. Adam had tears on his cheeks as he looked back at Diane.

"I was so worried."

"I was too. But it's all right now."

Once the baby was cleaned up, Adam went to get Buddy and Rose to show them their new brother. The rest of the family followed the trio up the stairs. Buddy of course had questions.

"Papa, how did that baby get out of Mama's tummy?"

"Well, Mama has something called a birth canal. The baby came out that."

"Oh, like when horses have babies. They come out the end like that?"

"Yes, something like that."

"Does it hurt?" Then he realized he should probably have asked his mother that question so the turned to Diane who simply nodded. Turning back to Adam, Buddy had a more important question that he had held for quite some time. "Papa, how did that baby get in there?"

As Adam's mouth dropped open and then closed with a snap, Ben nodded knowingly and Hoss and Joe snickered. Adam turned to his brothers. "Your turn will come." To his father, he had one question. "Any advice?"

"Tell the truth but not too much yet because he is likely to repeat it to his friends too. You did at that age. It got me in a lot of hot water."

"Sorry, Pa. Buddy, let's go to your room and talk. This is one of those private things. It is perhaps the most private thing ever. Pa, will you take charge of Rose, please?"

So that was the set of firsts. Buddy had his first day of school. Hoss had his first child. Buddy got his first pony. Adam had his first child born to him giving him three children.


End file.
